busy-busy!

Well! There's so much I could dish, but I'm going to be half-discreet:

I got dressed up again over the holiday break, but soon discovered yet another hole in my crucial (ie; only doll-like) rubber top. It's a made to measure Matrix top by Libidex, I highly recommend their work. I've given it rather a lot of use, and made a few measuring errors that lead to it being over-stressed in places, but that's not Libidex's fault! So that was enjoyable, even though it had to be cut short in order to make other commitments.

After that, well, my maker was too busy inventing some new perverse sexual alchemy to play with me again. It involved a certain herb, a certain prescription drug (prescribed to me, even), a new latex toy - at least temporarily - and his partner. Apparently it was quite successful. He's such a depraved sybarite.

I don't mind taking a back seat to a flesh-n-blood girl (with real functioning girl parts, after all) - he knows I'll be be here in my various parts in rubbermaid tubs, waiting to be reborn, when his inexplicable need to become an empty-headed rubber mannequin overcomes his need for sex...

are these the confessions of a sex addict?

Hmm, I wonder what the difference is between someone who likes sex, and someone who likes sex a lot, and someone who is said to be a pathological sex addict.

What? Oh, just thinking out loud. Don't mind me.

All righty then, an update on my dolling life. There is good news and bad news.

The good news is that I repaired several latex garments that made up my first complete rubber doll outfit, so I was able to dress up again recently.

The bad news is that I damaged several more garments, and not through carelessness this time. They tore very easily, despite my fingernails all being clipped short and filed smooth - no sharp edges - the latex was very weak.

Unfortunately, I know exactly why.

Recently, I foolishly dried some of my garments in the drier on "low heat", because they were so wet and so were a bunch of towels that I threw in with them. Then I got distracted, and forgot to go back and switch it to "fluff air" before it got too hot. And our drier kicks ass and takes names. Love gas driers.

You can guess where this is going, I'm sure. By the time I remembered, the latex and towels were quite dry all right, but almost too hot to handle.

And if you're reading this blog, you're probably aware that the three chief enemies of latex are: oils of any kind, direct sunlight or UV light, and heat.

Drat. So even if I repair them, their days are numbered. Probably in the double digits.

A lot of the damaged garments are things I've had for many years, most of the damage looks repairable. They are all slightly old to very old, and have already been repaired before. If I am unable to repair them, it won't be a great loss, they were nearing the end of their lifetime anyway. Or so I tell myself. My mental reaction is no longer as heartbreakingly pathetic as it used to be. Maybe I am growing up.

Anyway, I am trying to decide if they are worth repairing or if I should just toss them in the trash. If the rubber is as weakened as I think it is, they won't even be useful for repair scraps. :(

I wish I had more of a fetish wardrobe. But there's no money for that right now.

progress

Well, I have managed to repair several latex garments crucial to my doll persona. The biggest deal was my custom M2M "Matrix" top from Libidex. Some day, I want to get another one just like it, or a catsuit, but I must do a better job of measurements on the boobs next time!

Anyway, it had a tear under one armpit (the most common place) and it was the very devil to repair, but I seem to have managed it. I took it for a test flight last weekend, and the repairs held up well.

Now I have a pair of tights with a hole, and a botched-up hobble dress I might be better off giving up on, I did such a horrible job trying to modify it from a conventional dress into a hobble dress.

I think I really need to get some fishnets, yes I do. What say you readers? Red? Silver metallic? (if such things can even be found, I am not sure where to look.)

Hopefully I will have another chance to dress up soon, and perhaps convince my partner to take a few pictures...

I've been away...

...from this blog for a long time. Sorry about that!

I have not been doing much during the nine or ten months since I last posted, mostly because my creator managed to damage most of my clothing and accoutrements, all of which now need to be either replaced or repaired.

And I still haven't got a proper mask. Le Sigh.

I have however, been playing around off and on with various new or semi-new interests.

One of these is do-it-yourself bondage gear and inexpensive but fun bondage techniques.

I've also been pushing my own limits of how much stimulation my body and mind can accept before "erotic discomfort" turns into "unpleasant pain". You see, I have never eroticized pain. I'm not a masochist as far as pain play goes. I can handle quite a lot of discomfort though, if it's somehow associated with something sexy. For example, tight belts and tight-lace corsetry, uncomfortable high heels, and the like.

My creator is working on some new things - articles of clothing - toys - for me, some of which seem very ambitious. I don't know how long it will be before any of them become reality.

I have no choice but to wait for as long as it takes.

Some day I will get to dress up and "be me" again.

Some day, I will be a real rubber doll again.

quality vs. quantity

My creator had a lot of time off during the holidays, so I was taken out and dressed up a LOT, which was nice. Unfortunately, his partner did not participate much, although she helped me lace my corset once.

I dressed up a few times in spandex as well as latex, and attempted to take some self-portraits, but apparently I am just a silly, empty-headed little doll, because I did not work the camera right, and not a single one of those photos came out.

I have decided to tweak all of the other photos I have waiting - the ones I mentioned in my previous post - in various ways. I am making myself look the way I wanted to look, not just how I looked in reality when the shutter snapped. The changes are subtle, so I wonder whether anyone will be able to spot them.

So anyway, that is why it is taking so long for the promised image to show up on my Flickr page. Be patient, my dears!